A Lovely Weekend

This weekend was restful, and entirely undramatic. What a concept!

I did some shopping on Saturday--bought a Christmas present, and feel very smug about it--and on Sunday I played hooky from church and had breakfast with a friend. Biscuits and gravy, and I still stayed on program. That's another thing I love about Weight Watchers. It's real-world eating--you can have anything, if you plan and adapt. The bottomline is, some of us have to be careful what we eat, and I am one of these people. I've finally accepted that. I uncovered the rub in my journaling--I wanted to eat mindlessly, I guess, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Well, as Dr. Phil would say, Get Real, Linda. Once again, personal responsibility rears its head. (I was going to say ugly head, but nothing about p.r. is ugly. It's the most beautiful thing in the world, besides love.)

More on my friend. Her name is Sandi, and she's a grief counselor, among other valuable talents. An acqaintance I much admire, and who has always been kind to me, suffered a terrible loss recently, and I've been trying to process it. What to say to this woman, who must be in unspeakable pain? There are so many pitfalls--saying, "It's God's will," for instance. Or, "God needed another angel." (The reaction to that one is likely to be a missile, aimed at your head. After all, the first stage of grief is anger, isn't it?) Still, it's even worse not to say anything at all. Sandi is helping me with it, and of course my journal has been a Godsend. I can get things out of my head when I journal, and onto the paper, where they can be seen from a broader perspective. If I don't do this, I tend to become entangled in a lot of things that are basically none of my business.

Grief is very private territory, sacred ground. Too often, when we are operating from some level of ego, we are tempted to become emeshed in it, and that is an intrusion. We cannot attach ourselves, or truly enter in. And yet we cannot turn away, either. Compassion is called for, and the ability to stand squarely in the moment. It's knowing when to speak and when to keep silent, when to act and when NOT to act, that's the trick. And yet, if I get quiet, I know what to do.

If there's a lot of sound and fury, and flying dust, then it's a safe bet the ego is in charge. The Next Best Linda is only a choice away, though. Just the slightest shift, and I'm there.

Another Friday Rears Its Beautiful Head

My "short" story, "The Christmas of the Red Chiefs", an O. Henry reference, will go in to my editor today. Pocket will release it for the 2006 holiday season, headlining an anthology.

The weather in Arizona is cool--at last--even a little crisp this morning.

I intend to spend this Friday well.

I'm going to buy a telescope. I've become a solar system fanatic, watching shows on the Science and Discovery Channels. I recently listened to Dava Sobel's "The Planets" on CD, and was so fascinated that I bought the book as well.

More news, too. I'm back on my Weight Watchers plan, and loving it. I thought I'd have to think MORE about food, but instead, it's less. If any of you are making the same journey, you'll find some helpful information at www.dottisweightlosszone.com. I bought the series of hypnosis CDs mentioned on the site, and they're working! I mean, I am almost on automatic pilot with this! I also found it very inspiring that Dottie, who had a 100 pound weight loss and then regained it all, was willing to share her experience, strength and hope. I gained some of my weight back, but now I'm really putting on the brakes, and that feels good. Also, the site lists the points for food at almost any restaurant you can name. Great recipes, too, and let me tell you, her husband Al writes a mean newsletter.

My friend Sandi will be featured on Lifetime tonight, getting a surprise makeover. I believe it's during the movie, "Human Trafficking". Check it out.

BE a good weekend, ladies, as Iyanla Vanzant would say.

A Few Kind Words About the Ego

There are some big, bad egos out there, mostly belonging to various world leaders, it would seem. Warmongers. Planet-rapers. Ruthless exploiters. Bad egos for sure, run amok.

Chances are, though, that your ego is not a fiend. It's simply an overwhelmed, frantic child, crying out for the attention of the adult you.

If you feel...

Overwhelmed.
Resentful.
Slighted.
Invisible.
Unimportant.
Confused.
Tired.
Discouraged.
Afraid...

Then the child-ego is in charge. Tell her you'll take care of everything, and mean it. Tell her to go take a nap. Bring out your inner grown-up and take charge.

You'll find, as I have, that life gets much easier.

My good friend, Debbie Macomber....

Is featured in the November issue of "Guideposts". Her story would be inspiring to anyone, but especially to aspiring writers. Please check it out!

Are you writing in your journals?

Are you trying to live from your next-best self (no quantum leaps, remember), instead of your ego?

Good for you.

As we begin this new month, with Thanksgiving looming on the horizon, let's talk about gratitude.

One of the many things I am grateful for is my longstanding friendship with Debbie Macomber. Another is...YOU.

You've made so many dreams come true. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Middle Self

I am as excited today as an astronomer who has just discovered a "new", as in previously unrecognized, planet!

We spoke a little yesterday about the ego--the shallow, low-level self that is really an overgrown, petulant and spoiled child, with one mantra fitfully offered: Me, Me, ME! We also touched on the True Self, which is the purest essence of being, made wholly of love.

Obviously, the span between these two poles is extreme, to say the least, a gap too wide to bridge in everyday life, surely. I was journaling about that when I realized that there is yet another self--the Middle Self--the intermediary between the two.

This is the voice of reason, of compassion, of calm. This is the self that creates and attracts. The one, as mentioned yesterday, who steps forward in a crisis and takes over. This is the self who whispers, even in deepest sorrow, "Everything will be all right."

Furthermore, there is a signal system. If you feel frustrated, annoyed, resentful, petty, or sad, the ego is in charge. It is like a frantic jester, cavorting desperately to keep your attention on it and it alone. Sadness and pain are a part of the exquisite tapestry of life, but dwelling on them too long is the ego's game.

Let's wise up. Let's become deliberately conscious of which sphere we're operating from at any given time. Your emotions will tell you clearly whether you are on the ego's ground, or standing squarely in the Middle Self.

It's a mental shift, you know. It's a choice. If it feels bad, as my friend Abraham says, it IS bad. It means you are snared in the ego's shell game.

Step back, and get to know the Middle Self.