The Shift

I felt it yesterday. It's a mind-shift that happens when I've really made up my mind about something, like quitting smoking or taking off the after-stopping weight.

As you know if you read yesterday's blog, my intention is to eat mindfully. Consciously. I know how to do that, and I'm sure you do, too. Forget dieting.

And so another journey begins.

Our autumn weather is keenly beautiful--the blues seem bluer and the trees seem greener, and out front the aspen leaves are changing color, too. The crisp apple I ate as part of my mid-morning snack was incredibly delicious. I actually held that fruit and looked and it and wondered when was the last time I enjoyed an apple that much??? Maybe it took my tastebuds three months to come back, I don't know.

Here's what I do know. There are other shifts I need to make in my life. Maybe there are in yours, too. And that's okay.

Darn, that apple was good.

Will I Ever Learn? :)

I'm smart in a lot of ways, and I say that without bragging. I'm not, it would seem, the brightest bulb in the box when it comes to changing my diet.

Here's what happened. I quit smoking, and I started to put on weight. Since I'd kept my last weight loss off for nearly two years, I wasn't happy about that. I like wearing little jeans, and not just from vanity--I'm not actually a very big person, bone structure and height-wise. I don't feel like myself when I'm heavier.

So, okay. The most important thing is, I'm staying a nonsmoker, for good. I decided I was ready to stop the weight gain and--here's where the dim-bulb comes in--I wanted to do something that would be easy, a no-brainer, so to speak. (Truer than I am comfortable admitting, my friends.) I ordered Nutrisystem. After all, Marie Osmond looks pretty good, right? (Of course, she always did, didn't she?) In my imagination, I saw the steaming lasagna, the hamburgers, the good stuff. What arrived (because somehow I didn't find the good stuff option, which of course involves up-ordering) is a bunch of dry "food" packaged to last into the next millenium. Well, that's my plan. I'm keeping it in the garage in case of disaster.

What was I thinking? Will I never learn?

I would have been better off to buy Weight Watchers frozen entrees, which I at least know and like, until I got back in the portion control groove.

This blog is in no way intended to dissaude you from trying Nutrisystem (my brother-in-law has had great success with it and likes the food), if that's your thing. I'm just telling you about my own experience: this is not for me.

I need to learn to trust myself again, where food is concerned, and I can do that.

Again.

And again.

And a few times more after that.

It is interesting, being me. :)

Make it a good day.

Back to Work

I wrote on Saturday, but on Saturday evening, late, my long-time friend Vicki Webster and her long-time friend, Sandy, arrived for a visit. (Sandy is now my friend, too.) I intended to work all day Sunday, as well, because Vicki is the type of friend to understand these things, but in the end, I didn't. I needed this time with my friends, whether I could spare it or not, and I'm glad I took it. We had breakfast at Northern Quest Casino--played slots for an hour or so--went to Walmart, came home. Later, we headed out again, to Michael's, where I bought more of the Gallery Glass paints I've been using on the piece I call my Renaissance Showgirl. I ended up doing her entire headdress in various colors and the effect if striking--stained glass. Except for finishing off the edges of the canvas and spraying the whole thing with some kind of protective coating, in two weeks, when the paint has cured properly, she's finished.

I so love this piece. In fact, if I'd seen it in a shop or a gallery, done by someone else, I would probably have bought it.

Check her out on my Twitter page: www.twitter.com/lindalaelmiller

There are few things I love more than painting--writing leaps instantly to mind. It's hard work sometimes, no denying that, but it is also such a joy. I can go and live in my story world, with my story people, and then slip back out into my own, to rejoin loved ones, dogs, cats and horses. To enjoy friends and breakfast and slot machines and visits to Michael's and all manner of good things.

I feel restored this morning. Ready to return to Blue River, Texas in a big way.

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Read all about it!

On October 1, a wonderful contest begins. The winner will be flown to Las Vegas to attend the National Rodeo Finals with me!

Watch the website for info.

Inner Mean Girl

I spotted her this morning when I was journaling. My inner mean girl, I mean. Although she has the occasional critical comment to make about other people, the truth is, she mainly picks on me. And I have gotten so used to her voice that I usually don't even question what I'm hearing.

M.G. has plenty to say about the weight I gained after I quit smoking ("How could you have let this happen--again?? Don't you ever learn?") There's no credit for the accomplishment of breaking the nicotine habit, though. M.G. says: "That's what you get for starting smoking in the first place."

My most cherished dreams are fair game, too. When I dare to hope that I might meet a nice man, one I could love and respect, and he might love and respect me right back, M.G. says: "All the good ones are taken" or "Men your age want younger women."

I've got to tell you, I was raised a small town/country girl, and if anybody outside my own head ever talked to me like that, I'd probably tie right into them, make them a new face. Rip their lips off. You get the highly exaggerated idea. :)

And I'd be stooping right down to Mean Girl's level, if I replied in kind. So I'm taking a compassionate approach, because I think, deep down, M.G. truly believes she's protecting me. She probably just needs some love and reassurance.

Do you have an inner Mean Girl/Guy?

Careful. They can be very convincing. :)

Make it a great weekend.